Remember when you first met your spouse and how you would go on fun dates
Remember when you would get butterflies whenever the phone rings hoping that it was him/ her on the other line
Remember when you would talk on the phone for hours on end
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Remember when you would stay on the phone just to hear each other breathe not wanting to end the call
Remember when just ended your date and already thinking about when you will meet up again
Remember when you would stop everything just to make time for that phone call or that date
Remember when you did spontaneous things together
Vaguely….. I feel you. Same here. You are probably asking yourself “What happened?”
See Related Post: 8 Simple Date Ideas For Married Couples
Life happened.. Years later, married with kids… How can you possibly take back what once was the center of us? Isn’t that too selfish to want to think of us when us is no longer just you and I? This is why we started this life. Be married and have a family….but while having a family, do you have to lose yourselves?
It took us a long time after having kids to realize what was hurting our relationship. I was too in that situation or of that mindset that when I have a family, there was no “you and me” anymore. Everything you do is for the family.
A few years ago, we decided to bring back date night. Initially, we would have one date night a month. That was a far cry from what it was when we first met. But definitely more than what we have had in the past few years.
What to do on your first date after so many years? What do you talk about? Where do you go? How long should we be away from the kids? What would others think about us seeing/ knowing we left the kids with the babysitter (in our case, our older daughter) Bless her heart ❤️
We left our kids for dinner only to talk about the kids. Awkward… I thought at first. I left the kids to have alone time but we ended up talking about the kids. But I guess that is what parents do when they sit down and talk. That was our common ground: our kids. It felt good to have an actual meal without chasing after the boys.
As we continued in our monthly dates, we have found that we have more to talk about other than kids and bills. We have found “us” prior to us becoming “the kids and us”.
See related post: Who Says Marriage Was Easy?
Here are some benefits that we found in dating each other again
- Alone time means uninterrupted time
- Being able to reconnect
- Communicate better
- Bring back the sparks
- Strengthen our bond
- Helps us de-stress
Having uninterrupted time allowed us to talk about things that we would not otherwise have and really be intentional about it. It reminded us of how we communicated with each other and taught us how to communicate with each other more effectively. It brought back the sparks that have been hiding for so long. Sometimes when I hear the term that the sparks are missing. It is not missing. We just hid it as we had many other priorities to deal with. We felt that being able to spend time together not only helped us strengthened our bond but helped us de-stress.
Life still happens and there are times that we do not get our monthly dates in. Then there are times when we can get more than one date a month in. I believe that being intentional and having the willingness to invest in each other. Because it is a huge investment just like at the beginning stages. It is an ongoing investment that needs the careful attention of the people involved.
Let me know your thoughts on why you should date your spouse.